Wow, I did not expect that from usually educated activists. Or is this somehow a widely accepted word with the trans women here? (Because lets face it, the trans men aren’t active anywhere.)
I may not be as valuable a member of this fucking organization, what with half my time going to being part of trans organizations as well, but I will not let people this this shit is acceptable.
Yes some people can successfully be activists without leaving their computers. Unfortunately tumblr, most of you cannot and do not.
If you genuinely want to be able activist, go out and participate in actual organizations. It might seem like there aren’t any around, but trust me, there probably are. And if not, start one, however informal.
Before my friends started our local ftm group, there weren’t any groups for trans men and now we’re actually making even the smallest differences, helping others find trans friendly doctors and hopefull spreading helpful information.
If you don’t want to do anything like that, that’s perfectly acceptable, but i would really appreciate it if you would stop pretending you’re ~activists~ if the things you do aren’t really substantial.
Yes, i am phone!tumbling just to say that.
I go on tumblr and see people say things ‘what do you contribute to the community if you’re stealth?’ or ‘you’re obligated to give something back to the community’. I rage every time I do because it feels like an insult to me.
First off, no one, and I mean NO ONE is obligated to do anything like that. The ultimate goal of trans activism is to make is so that every trans person be seen and treated like absolutely everyone else. That society not think of us as abnormal and that we get to live the same sort of lives as cis people would get to.
And news flash, this means not being forced to put yourself on display or become some sort of ambassador for the rest of the trans population. Not everyone wants that. Not all people with AIDs want to be AIDs activists. Not every person in an ethnic minority wants to be an anti-racism activist, every woman a woman’s rights activist, not every gay person an LGBT activist.
What makes being trans so different that some of you expect everyone to be out and proud and champion the cause?
And you know what, you’re effectively cheapening the involvement in those who are out activists. I’m not talking of myself because, let’s face it, I live a pretty comfy life in comparison to other people but other trans activists are essentially putting their lives and reputation the line. Yes, the point is for it to not have to be that hard anymore, but until we are at that point, these people are giving more than what anyone should be required to for a cause they feel is important.
For some people, being an activist is easy. I’d say it relatively is for me but even if I didn’t choose to be an activist, if I chose to be stealth and live a quiet life, that should not have been anybody’s business but my own.
Conversely, I also hate it when people say NO ONE should be out because that really is unrealistically dumb and accomplishes nothing at all especially when so many people have no choice but to be out because of lack of passing but really, how often is it that someone says that? :P
Except when I see things like people including FTMs when they talk about lesbians or the like, under the totally whack rationalization that FTMs have been in lesbian relationships in the past or at least identified as lesbians.
I mean, there are even more dumb arguments out there, and this isn’t the best way to respond to them, surely, but when I specifically hear that one, I scoff because I (and others for sure) have NEVER EEEEEEEEEEEEVER ID’d as a lesbian. Nope nope never never uh-uh-uh.
And probably some trans folks too.
Recently, I’ve come to admit that, yes, I think most people who identify as GQ would completely be cis if we lived in a society that did not demand confrmation to gender roles or gender stereotypes. From what I could tell, a lot of GQ people do really only have their identity because of gender roles and gender presentation.
Though intersex individuals exist, a lot of the GQ people (on tumblr at least) have preferences of what they want their bodies to be.I’ve never really seen anyone desire a body that wasn’t explicitely male or female (No one’s ever really said they wanted a body with True hermaphroditism) so then the basis of their genderqueer-ness becomes dependent solely on gender roles and stereotypes.
I hate when people say sex is a social construct because it’s not. Gender roles are, but sex, your physical sex, is scientific. So this then is what we call gender, and I have no problem with that definition.
So since most genderqueer people are GQ only because of gender and not so much because of sex, I want to bring back the use of the word cissexual. If agenders, bigenders, genderqueers do not want to be thought of as cisgender, but are completely fine with the bodies they have, then fine. I don’t see any problem with you rejecting the word cisgender.
However, I’m now going to have to call you cissexual; meaning that you may be transgender in the ense that you do not fit into the gender society expected you to take, but you are not a transsexual because you have no desire to change your sex.
I think that’s a fair compromise, don’t you?
Because I really think there ought to be a distinction between us, you the gq trans masculine fellow who might ascribe to male gender roles but still desire their female body, and I who may not fit in to all the male gender roles but still very much desire a male body.
And maybe then, if this compromise pleases you, maybe we can stop getting cissexual trans people going on hormones or getting srs, and sometimes later regretting it. Because I’m sorry but no matter how much you try to fight it, the fact is, that does hurt me as a transsexual. Especially when you de-transition. Especially when you don’t completely understand what you’re getting into before you do it.
In a perfect world, where they’ve made good SRS available everywhere and they’ve minimized the negaticve effect os going on HRT, then maybe then, I wouldn’t care if anyone, even cisgender cissexual people got on hormones, but until that day comes, you’re going to have to live with me wanting to keep these things properly regulated, and even, yes, policed.
Yo, I need to fill up my other blog (the one will illustrated answers to questions), so I was wondering if people would ask me stuff about being ftm?
Or trans in general.
Or being trans in a country like the Philippines. Where no medical professional follows the WPATH SoC. Where there is no law that can possibly protect LGBT people in anyway. Where there are no real legal ways to go about transitioning.
Or you could ask me about being a gay ftm, but I feel like we’re a dime a dozen on this site.
You could always drop an ask on the blog itself or wherever. I just really need content tbh. D; (Hell, I’d probably even answer trolls. (But I’d prefer you didn’t. ,__,))
Sometimes I feel like I’m not being “revolutionary” enough to be queer.
And then I read the opinions of the people who make me think that way, and all they’re doing is rehashing old stereotypes but to make them look positive while the people who don’t conform to their “revolutionary” stereotypes get thrown under the bus for not being “queer enough” or simply not being “cool enough”.
I’m sorry I can’t flame and flounce around and be genderqueer. I am a big old masculine nerd and I’m sorry I’m not fabulous enough for your Queer Army. I’m sorry I don’t eat, breathe, sleep, and fuck “revolution” because I really have no interest in it aside from my own self-centered concerns. I’m sorry I don’t cover my dick in glitter or wear skirts and makeup or run around declaring to the world how much of a giant fairy I am.
The thing is, I have as much of a right to exist as you do. I know the gay male community is an extremely broken base, but god damn, I am who I am, much the same as you being who you are. I really don’t like being told I’m “truscum” or “really straight”, or have “internalized homophobia” or shit like that because I’m not exactly like you. The rainbow is made of many colors, not just varying shades of one. And people shouldn’t get crapped on because their personality/hobbies/interests aren’t PC enough for a certain group’s standards (I’m sorry, I just can’t knit).
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m a real romantic at heart but there’s a sort of disconnect between my being romantic and the rest of me. I don’t think I really feel the kind of love I believe people experience. But this is not really a post about my strange jaded feels.
I just notice that while I’m more than perfectly happy to be single, there are times I wish I had a partner. And everytime I want one is when I feel like I need someone to give me what I can’t get from everyone else.
I want a boyfriend when I feel like other LGb people look at me and see a straight albeit tomboyish female. I want a partner when I feel insecure about whether or not people respect my being trans.
I think of what it’d be like to have a partner when I get upset or hurt by things. When I fight with my family or experience irrational paranoia with my friends. When I get upset by things, I look to my friends to be keeping a level head when I can’t. That’s what I love about them and wouldn’t want it any other way, but I think, I’d like one person to be there to just let me be an emotional wreck while comforting me without trying to bring me back to logic and rationality again.
You know what I mean. Someone who won’t just tell you “I’m sorry they made you feel like shit” but “I’m sorry they made you feel like shit but please remember there are people like me who love you and don’t want you to feel that way”.
Its for entirely selfish reasons, mostly. So I really don’t think I deserve to be in a relationship for the same reasons. I shouldn’t just have a partner to give me the sort of support I wish I had.
Blah, what does it matter, relationships aren’t something I’m going to find myself in any time soon, realistically speaking.